After reading through the beginning for this chapter, I have come to realize that I made a lot of errors. I do apologize for this, at the time I had not taken any classes in grammar. However this is going to change. I am posting here and at my other blog which is, http://thewritersblockcafe2.blogspot.com/ please have patience with me. I will find enough to post on both sites. If anyone has an idea out there, about something that they may want to read in the future, drop me a note. Thank you Kate.

I AM BACK!!!!! 
     It took me a little over 24 hours to figure out my account, but I miss not writing... so stay tune for tomorrow I will catch ya up on Jake and Alley, day by day I will allow you into their lives.  Thank you everyone....

I'm not as I Seem

Chapter 1

Jake drove around town for a while before coming to a small professional building at the end of

Chase Street

.  There he seen the name of the man he was looking for in big bold letters, Dr. Benjamin Jennings OB-GYN. He could feel every muscle in his stomach as they started to tighten up and the knots began.  Pulling into the parking lot he brings the car to a stop directly in view of the sign placing it into park then turns off the key, he decided to sit for a while. 

As he sat watching women as they went in and out of the building sometimes with their husbands he wondered what it would have been like if it would have been Lisa walking beside him as they went to see the ultra sound on their son.  He leaned his head back against the soft head rest in his rental car, feeling the seat beside him as he kept his eyes closed he thought ‘someday I need to get me a car instead of my truck, someday.’  He had to have drifted off to sleep because when he woke up he realized that only two cars remained in the parking lot.  One looked like it belonged to the doctor and the other maybe one of the nurses he couldn’t tell for sure but he figured he would wait to find out.  “Night daddy,” the young girl said as she stepped out of the door with two small children holding onto her hands. 

As she started walking away he noticed one of the children a little girl run back towards the building yelling, “Night Grandpa,”  He realized that the doctor was now standing outside with the three of them it has to be Jennings he told himself.  Then something happened that he was not in the least bit prepared for the little boy broke away from the young girl’s grip and started running towards the doctor.  Taking a second to focus Jake seen what appeared to be his son JJ running towards the doctor.  That can’t be he is back home with Niles and the others, he opened his window a bit more when he heard the boy yelling for his grandfather.  Finally the young girl walked back towards the children placing her arms around both she knelt down beside them.

“Hey you two think we can get grandpa talked into the two of you buying the two of us dinner tonight for a change, how about it dad what do you say?”  The doctor nodded his head ‘yes’ then pointed towards the small café across the street from them.  Jake knew that it had to be Jennings but he didn’t know that the man had a daughter let along two grandchildren one of which bared a striking resemblance to his little boy back home.   After they made it into the café Jake put the car into gear then drove around to the other side of the street parking around the corner of the café.  He hoped that they didn’t see him nor that Jennings would know who he was, he needed to get closer to see for himself who the little boy was if it wasn’t his son JJ.  Walking into the café he noticed that the booth behind the doctor was open and he decided that he could not get any closer then that so he sat down prepared to have a small snack himself.

“Darling what is wrong?”  Looking out the window Jake could see the young girl’s reflection in the glass beside him.  She bowed her head shaking it, ‘no’ the doctor nodded his head as if he understood.  “Later then when we are alone?”  This time the girl nods ‘yes.’

“How are you folks tonight, Alex I have never seen you this quite not around me honey what’s wrong?”  As she waited for an answer the two children started getting restless as they clung to the young girl.

“Sara tomorrow is our in between birthday and mommy promised we can go to the zoo, but grandpa said he can’t go he has to work.”  The little girl yelled just as loud as she could, then the little boy looked out the window and Jake got a good look at him this time.  He was a mirrored image of his little boy JJ he couldn’t take his eyes off of him not until his waitress came over to him.

“Hello there handsome what can I get for you while I’m waiting for the other table to make up their mind?”  He had a different waitress his was an older woman in her early fifties figured Jake.  “Would you like coffee?”  Jake nods ‘yes’ then she added, “Alright then don’t go far I’ll get you that coffee and be right back for the rest of your order.” 

“That’s right the two of you are what five now right?” Then it finally hits her and she asks, “Wait a minute what is an in between birthday?” Sara asked but Jake noticed the little boy in the window as he softly says, ‘three of us.’ He’s the same age as JJ but how JJ’s birthday wasn’t for another six months?  “What was that Benjamin?”  The little boy didn’t take his eyes off the window he just shook is head ‘no’ “Alex is something wrong with him tonight he seems a bit lost?”

The young girl leaned over giving him a kiss on the back of the head then looked out the window as she searched for a glimpse of his eyes in the reflection.  “No Sara he is just a bit tired is all aren’t you sweetie?” Looking back over at Sara she says, “An in between birthday is the exact day between your birthday and Christmas or in this case between Christmas and their birthday.  So we celebrate it twice a year and the children pick a place to go and visit.”  Then she turned her attention back to Benjamin turning him towards the table, she opened a menu then he heard her whisper to him, “Come on mom wants her big boy to order for her please, Benjamin?” The child’s mother you got to be kidding she is just a kid herself.

“Mommy can Benny and I have a chocolate shake tonight please?”  Jake could feel the knots returning deep in the pit of his stomach as he heard the word ‘mommy’ she was the mother of both of the children, no way it wasn’t possible.   When Alex turned to talked to her daughter she caught a glimpse of  Sara heading their way with two small birthday cakes one for each of the children.   They all sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to both of them then Jake sat still as he found it hard to breath when the little girl took him a piece of cake, “Would you like a piece of my birthday cake Mister.?”  Jake took it then said ‘thank you’ as he began to smile at the precious little girl standing before him.

He turned to glance back out the window at Benjamin his smile disappearing as he seen tears forming in the little boys eyes.  “Sweetheart what’s the matter?”  Alex knew the answer before she even asked the question but she had to ask never the less.

Benjamin looked up at her then bowed his head but Jake could still hear what he was saying to her, “Mommy why did God have to take Andrew from us?  It’s his birthday too right?”  Alex nodded ‘yes’ she was trying to fight the tears now that were forming in her eyes as well.

Sara looked confused, “Alex who is Andrew?”  Then turning back to Hailey, “Hey that isn’t fair does that mean you two get extra birthday presents and the rest of us only get them once.”

“He was the first one born of my triplets but he didn’t survive I named him after his father.”  Then she turned back to Sara, “No the children get gifts once a year on their real birthday and on this birthday they get to go some place for the day then on the way home we stop in at the hospital.” Jake looked into the window searching for Jennings’ reflection trying to study them, as he placed his hand into his pocket realizing that the tiny bracelet that he had hidden in there belonged to Alex’s deceased son Andrew. 

What had this man done to his own child taking her first born son and giving him away to a complete stranger?  That’s why Benjamin looks so much like JJ they were brothers and then they had a little sister too.  So then what happen to his child, did Lisa give it away?  Maybe she didn’t even go thru with the plan, so he would have to raise someone else’s child the past five years.  As he looked for Jennings reaction he noticed that Alex was trying to wipe away the tears from her son but it was no use she was having a hard time keeping her own eyes dried.

Jennings cleared his throat trying to get Alex’s attention when she glanced up at him he said, “Alexandra I told you it would have been best to let them go on thinking that they were twins not triplets.  You should have never told them about Andrew darling now you are going to go thru this every time their birthday comes around.”  She laid her head down onto her son’s looking as if she were a million miles away not listening to her father as he continued to speak.  “Look I have got a lot to do yet tonight before I leave tomorrow for the convention stop over tomorrow and check on my place, Catherine will be there she has gifts for the children.”  He stood up leaning down to give her a kiss on the top of the head then gave the little girl one too, “Bye Hailey I will see you when I get home in four days alright?”  The little girl shook her head, ‘yes’ then he reached across the table to Benjamin holding out his hand.  Alex whispered something in her young son’s ear making him turn to shake his grandfather’s hand, “Bye son you take care of your mommy and sister for me while I’m gone remember you’re the man of the house until  I get back.”

Sara looked down at Alex then she sat down across from her taking Jennings’ place.  “Alex I am so sorry I didn’t know if I would have I never would have brought it up.”

“That’s alright Sara, hey are you closing on your own tonight?”  Sara nods, ‘yes’ “Then how would you like some company then until you do?”  Again she nods, ‘yes’  “Good they will be falling asleep here soon and I really don’t want to carry them out right now they will wake up. Besides I really don’t want to go home right now all I’ll do is think about him and what could have been.” 

Noticing that Benjamin had fallen asleep Jake turned sideways in the booth placing his legs up onto the seat.  He leaned his head back closing his eyes until he heard, “Hey Mistr. do you fly a plane?”  Opening his eyes he noticed Hailey looking over the back of the seat at him.

“Hailey Marie that is enough young lady you don’t bother people when they’re trying to sleep.”  Then she looked at Jake saying, “I’m so sorry Sir she asks everyone she sees in a uniform.”

“Hey that’s ok I love kids I have a son myself around the same age as these two in fact.”  Yeah right the same exact age as a matter of fact.  He tried not to say too much but the little girl just sat staring at him waiting for the answer, “Yes Hailey I do fly a plane along with my partner he sits right behind me every time I go up, he is my best friend.”

“Cool my daddy flew a plane but he lives with my brother Andrew and with God.”  Then she turned to sit down leaving Jake to stare at Alex now in total confusion. All of a sudden she turned back towards him asking, “What is your little boys name Mister.?  Do you have a picture of him, can I see it?”  Alex smiled shaking her head.

Jake could help himself as he started laughing, “His name is Jacob he is named after me but we call him JJ and no sweetheart I don’t have a picture of him on me, sorry.”  He had one but truth be told there was no way he could show his picture to them not without having them ask a lot of questions, the kind that he himself didn’t have the answers to yet.

She turned back sitting down hard into the booth looking at her mother saying, “What kind of daddy doesn’t have pictures mommy?”  Alex hung her head in embarrassment as her daughter said what was on her mind.

“I am so sorry Sir Hailey is one that speaks her mind I really don’t know where she gets it from it certainly isn’t me.”  Then she turned towards her little girl and noticed that she had fallen asleep.

Noticing the look on her face Jake leaned over the back of the seat finding Hailey fast asleep.  “Does she always fall asleep that fast?” Alex shook her head ‘yes’ then he laughed, “Mine too he says it like it is and once nothing else is keeping his attention then he is out cold.”  Turning back to his coffee and taking another drink he looks back at Alex asking, “Why don’t you lay the boy down onto the seat so he can get some good rest and come over here and have a coffee and a small chat with me?”  When she hesitated he adds, “They both will be alright there and you can see them both, I can even give you this side so that you are right next to them in case they wake up.”   As she started to climb out of the booth he stood up and slid into the other side of his. 

“Well this is a lot easier for me so I don’t have to reach over the two of them.”  Glancing back at the two children sleeping Sara adds, “Alex I am sorry honey if you would have told me I would never had brought it up.”

“Don’t worry about it Sara I know you didn’t know and they have got to get use to it they will have worse in life to try to handle believe me.”  Taking a drink of her coffee she looked up at Jake who seemed to be studying her.  “What is it do I have cake on me?”  She said as she began to smile.

“No I was just thinking you are raising these two on your own without a husband?”  Why on earth did I say that she is never going to answer it?

“Yes even if my first son would have made it I would have raised them all three on my own.”  Jake sat staring at her she didn’t have to explain herself to this stranger but she was alright with what she had chosen to do with her life.  “See my father wanted to have grandchildren before something happened to him. Since I had spent most of my teen years with my nose in a book I had no plans to get married and have children in the near future.”  Jake was now very interested maybe he could find out what was going on before he had to confront Jennings himself.  “So my father who is an OB-GYN had a patient that lost her husband and father had known the man so he used him as a donor.”  She waited to see how he would react to what she was saying but it didn’t seem to bother him at all.  “Well I knew was the father’s middle name is all so that is where Andrew came to be, that was my firs born's name.”  He could feel his eyes as they began to grow, once he realized that she used his middle name for his first born son.  “I also knew that he flew a plane but not much more then that but I told the children what I figured I could without causing them too much pain.”

“Did you get to hold Andrew?”  When she held her head down he quickly added, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t be asking this I’m sure you still have a lot of pain even after all of this time.” 

“I do have problems with it around this time of year.  I think it is because Benjamin always asks for the same thing for his birthday, he makes his wish and it is that God lets him play with his big brother soon.”  She looked away trying to fight off the tears, “I guess I’m scared that God will answer him and that he will take him away from me too just like he did Andrew.”  Jake was beginning to realize that chances were that she had no idea of what her father had done.  She had turned away from him as she looked out the window it had started raining as it drizzled down the front of the café’s huge window he could see some tears starting down her cheek.  He reached over wiping them away with a napkin their eyes met she touched his hand bringing it down away from her.

 “Please forgive me I shouldn’t be bothering you with all of this.”  As she started to stand up he did too, “In answer to your question on if I got to hold baby Andrew yes I got to hold my son.”  She started to walk away from him but he stops her.

“Please, Alex am I right?”  ‘Yes’ she nodded. “Hello I’m Major Jacob Andrew Dunnings but I go by Jake, now please sit back down.”  He held out his hand in a gesture, “Would you please allow me to call you Alley, I’m sorry but Alex makes me feel like I am talking to a man?”

Alex sat back down this time she started with, “Well Major I am Doctor Alexandra Marie Schantilae but yes you can call me Alley but please don’t tell too many since I don’t allow anyone to call me that.”  Then he caught a glimpse of her as she gave him a quick smile.

“Fair enough,” As he sat back down he looked at her, “Doctor, you did say that you where a doctor right?”  ‘Yes’ she nodded.  “What kind of doctor dare I ask?”

Then he heard her with a short soft laugh as she said, “I am one of the hospital’s youngest heart surgeons that was why I said that children were not in my future.  I was fifteen when I became pregnant with the triplets and in the middle of my studies,  then once I had them at sixteen I became an intern and now five years later I am a full fledge surgeon.”  He smiled as he began clapping she grabbed his hand to get him to stop then pointed down at the two sleeping babies.  The softness of her hands told him that she had never seen much manual work in her short life. 

“Oops sorry about that one I don’t want to wake the little ones” That’s when the wheels started turning in his head, “Hey Alley Hailey said you were taking them to the zoo tomorrow right?”  ‘Yes’ she nodded, “Well what if I check with the CO on the base and see if I can’t get them onto the base to take a small tour of the planes?”  When she started shaking her head ‘no’ he added, “Oh come on it might help the little guy out to see some of them.  I’m sure I can get permission and then you can meet me either here or the base and I’ll take you from there.”

“Major why would you want to do this for us you do not even know us?”

He reached for a better grip of her hands then squeezing them a little bit he says, “Say I am doing it for a fellow officer and I’m sure hope that if anything happens to me that maybe someone would take the time to show my son around.”  When she still didn’t seem quite sold on it he added, “Look Alley you never had a chance to meet their father but I’m sure if you would have he would of told you all about how the people on the base become family.  Just because their comrade isn’t around any longer doesn’t mean you turn your back on his family.  I mean after all what is that showing his children that their father could give his life for his country but his country doesn’t care what happens to the man’s family?”  Alex turned slightly looking out the window as she watched Benjamin still sound asleep she wondered if this would help ease his pain even a little.  She turned back to the Jake as she began to smile she shook her head ‘Yes.’  “Fine then I will put in a call to his office first thing in the morning.”  As Sara walked up to the booth he released Alex’s hands moving his out of the way so she could refill their coffee.

Sara motioned for Alex to move over so she could sit down beside her, “Tell me something Alex if you said they don’t get gifts on this birthday then why is your father leaving them with some?”  Jake leaned back against the seat folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow as he waited for an answer.

“Well you know at the hospital we have a new ward that treats the incurable diseases from new born to eighteen years but the majority do not make it past ten years of age.”  Then she glanced back when she heard Hailey let out a sigh, “Truthfully most don’t make it past six years old.  Well we collect gifts thru out the year and then we take them to the hospital and I let the children hand them out.”  Then she drew in a deep breath as she continued, “Benjamin has this one friend that use to go to school with him.  The boy use to pick on Ben constantly then when Ben seen him in there and found out that he didn’t have much longer to live he wouldn’t stop until he became friends with the little guy.”  Jake had to excuse himself he couldn’t take it any more he had every muscle in his body tensing up.  He was finding it harder to breath and he couldn’t swallow any more of his coffee not with the lump that was building in his throat. 

To write or not to write that is the quesion

Today I'm left with the thought should I continue what I love to do best or waste my time in school not really interested in the classes involved.